Does Your Church Demand Obedience or Empower Growth?
Does Your Church Demand Obedience or Empower Growth?
… a look at unhealthy leadership
“Pastors are given to the church to care for people and look after them. Not to control their every behavior.”
The Subtle Signs of Authoritarian Church Leadership
Have you ever noticed a pattern in some churches where the emphasis seems to be less on spiritual growth and more on unwavering obedience to leadership?
It can be subtle at first, but in unhealthy church environments, a significant amount of focus often centers around submitting to authority and immediate compliance. Leaders in these settings often appear acutely aware of any perceived failure to follow their directives.
Consequences of "Disobedience" in Unhealthy Churches
When a misstep in obedience occurs, the consequences can manifest quickly and in various ways, including:
Direct reprimands for your "disobedience."
Silence and emotional distance.
A loss of position or opportunity for service within the church.
Looks of disappointment and disdain.
Gossip and the spread of your perceived failure throughout the congregation.
A combination of the above.
The False Premise: Obedience to Leaders Equals Service to God
The underlying purpose of these actions is to cultivate a sense of guilt, prompting individuals to quickly fall back in line and adhere to the leader's expectations. Sadly, this tactic frequently proves effective.
The deceptive foundation here lies in the false equivalency between obeying church leadership and serving God. The more you comply with their rules and regulations, the more "dedicated to Jesus" you're perceived to be.
Conversely, following your own conscience and convictions can be viewed as rebellion – at least in their eyes. Demonstrating independent thought or openness to differing perspectives might even be labeled as a "backslidden" state.
Healthy Leadership Empowers, It Doesn't Control
However, isn't the true role of leadership, whether in our homes, workplaces, or churches, to empower individuals to think critically and make their own Spirit-led decisions?
Consider my experience as a parent of three children. My aim in raising them wasn't to create lifelong dependence on me. That would limit their growth in many ways.
My goal was to equip them with the skills and spiritual grounding to navigate life independently of me, and learn how to rely on God and other wise counsel for their decision-making.
I'm grateful to be one of the people they turn to for wisdom and guidance. But it would indicate a failure on my part if they were constantly seeking to please me and blindly follow my desires and guidance.
Recognizing Unhealthy Dynamics in Church Authority
We readily understand this principle in most areas of life. Yet, for some reason, within the church setting, insecure leaders can sometimes convince us that we are deficient and must obey them without question to be considered a "true believer." We need them to insert themselves in every aspect of our lives to be successful.
Jesus' Teaching on Guidance: The Role of the Holy Spirit
What did Jesus say about guidance? He promised,
But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. (John 16:13).
This profound statement highlights that we have been given an inner witness, the Holy Spirit, to teach us and lead us. Of course, seeking wisdom from our spiritual elders and valuing their experience is important. However, the ultimate responsibility for discerning God's will and making choices rests with each individual.
We must make decisions for ourselves, not simply obey someone else's interpretation of the Bible or their directives. Ultimately, we will each give an account to God for our own lives, which the Bible makes clear in these verses:
…each of us will give an account of himself to God. Romans 14:1
I tell you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. Matthew 12:35
For we must all stand before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may be recompensed for what he has done in the body, whether good or bad, 2 Corinthians 5:10
And no creature is hidden from God's sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13
And they will give an account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 1 Peter 4:13
Don’t Give Up Your Freedom
What grieves me about pastoral overreach is that it robs you of the intimacy with God that you were designed to have. My hope is that you will develop a strong personal connection with God and his Spirit and not rely solely on the input and guidance of a mere human.
Pastors are given to the church to care for people and look after them. Not to control their every behavior.
Subscribe to readingremy.com and you will receive the first chapter to my book STUCK and an occasional blog post. Don’t worry. I won’t overwhelm your in-box. Click the button above to discover all my books, blogs, and coaching options to help you live a better life.
Learn more about spiritual abuse in my book, Broken Trust.
Visit my YouTube page with a variety of short videos.