Speaker, Author, Consultant
Healthy People
Healthy Churches
helping you recover from church hurt and discover healthy spirituality
Recover Your Faith. Rebuild Your Church.
Moving from Toxic Culture to Spiritual Health
Are you tired of "dysfunctional faith"? Has your church experience quit working for you? You aren't alone.
Whether you are currently deconstructing your faith or feeling the weight of church hurt, the road to recovery can feel lonely and confusing. Between betrayal and toxic church systems, it’s easy to wonder if your faith can—or even should—survive the fallout.
If you’ve been sidelined by religious trauma or are simply looking for a way to move forward without the baggage, I’m here to help you find a path toward genuine healing.
For Individuals: Healing from Religious Trauma
It’s hard to find someone who truly understands the complexity of spiritual abuse or the exhaustion of a toxic church culture. If you are ready to heal and find a "new beginning," let's navigate those next steps together. You don’t have to stay stuck in the confusion.
Process the Pain: Safely navigate the "why" behind church hurt.
Find Your Footing: Determine if your faith can survive (and thrive) after deconstruction.
Move Forward: Transition from a place of survival to a place of spiritual peace.
For Pastors & Leaders: Cultivating Healthy Church Culture
Sometimes, despite our best intentions, a church can go off the rails. If your leadership team is struggling or your community has become stagnant or harmful, it’s time for a resurrection. I provide church leadership coaching to help you identify systemic issues and implement a healthy church culture.
Crisis Management: Identify where the culture shifted and how to fix it.
Leadership Alignment: Re-center your team on healthy, sustainable ministry.
Restoration: Rescue your church from the damage of the past and build for the future.
"Be encouraged: God is the God of new beginnings and resurrections."
Start Your Journey Toward Recovery
Is your faith or your church worth a conversation? Absolutely. Let’s talk about how we can move you from burnout and betrayal to health and hope.
Sign Up for a Free Coaching Session Below.Discover how to recover from a toxic culture or build a healthy one today.
books by f. remy diederich
Each book is written to help you overcome a specific obstacle in your life: spiritual abuse, shame, loss and setbacks, unforgiveness, and anger. Click on the books to learn more, read reviews, and purchase the books. Available in paperback, Kindle and audio versions at Amazon.com.
*I earn a small commission on purchases made through these links. Thank you for helping support my work.
“Thank you so much for your ministry to those experiencing spiritual abuse. I have in the past month read your books, Broken Trust, STUCK, and now I am reading Return from Exile. All three books ministered to me deeply, and I would dare to say, changed my life...you have been like a brother to me, as I have been hurting, your books brought me healing and hope.”
Meet F. Remy Diederich
author, speaker, Coach, Consultant
I've been in ministry for over 30 years as well as a spirituality consultant in a treatment center for drugs and alcohol for 24 years. This experience is what led me to write six books to help people overcome common challenges like spiritual abuse and toxic faith, shame, anger, unforgiveness, grief and loss. People appreciate my down to earth approach that purposely avoids religious jargon and clichés.
I’ve worked with countless individuals, pastors and churches through the years to help them recover from past setbacks and failures to find a way forward with God’s help.
I've been married for over 40 years with three great adult children and two grandchildren. I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA and enjoy biking, running, reading books, and sharing a beverage with good friends.
Coaching To restore wholeness
Sometimes we need a little help. Life can be hard and the options are plentiful.
Coaching will help you take the next best step to get you where you want to go and reclaim your life.
Individual coaching
I can meet you in person or online to offer next steps in your journey as you face complex issues or decisions. Schedule a free consultation to learn more about how we can work together.
Pastoral coaching
Where do pastors turn for confidential advice, explore new ideas, or simply share the hurt that often comes with the job? Schedule a free consultation to learn more about how we can work together.
Preview My YouTube Channel
“I was really encouraged by your message on returning from exile. Specifically that being in exile is a precursor to becoming a blessing to others. I really want to become a blessing to others. Thanks for your thoughts on living in exile, too. I found myself connecting with many of your points.”
articles by f. remy diederich
Search below over 300 blog posts by topic, such as: shame, forgiveness, spiritual abuse, grief, etc.
Let’s Get Started
If you’re ready to get healthy then I’m ready to provide the insights, strategies and encouragement you need to overcome your setbacks and live the life God intended for and you and your church.
Frequently Asked Questions About Spiritual Abuse
Should I leave my Abusive church or try to confront the abusive pastor?
In most cases, it’s best to leave an abusive church. Abusive leaders are rarely open to correction even from other leaders. Remaining in the abusive church may cause you more pain in the long run.
Why is it so hard to leave an Spiritually abusive church?
There are many reasons for this. Most people are so heavily invested in their church - financially, relationally, maybe family legacy - that it’s hard to give all that up. But the question is: do you want to keep investing in something that is hurting you and others?
What should I tell church members from my old church when I see them in public?
This is a common fear… running into people from church at the grocery store, library, etc. Do you avoid them? If not, what should you say? It’s best to not avoid them. Greet them. Be pleasant. Ask how they are doing. Don’t feel any obligation to explain your absence from church. If they ask you about it, offer a vague answer that doesn’t invite more questions, such as: I have decided to take a break from church for right now. I’m not taking a break from my faith. But thanks for your interest/concern.
Is expressing my concerns about church really gossip?
Accusing people of gossip is a common tactic of abusive pastors. They want to shut down any negative thoughts about their ministry. The Oxford dictionary defines gossip as: … casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. So, what you say and to whom you say it is really the question if you are gossiping or not. If possible, it’s good to go to church leadership with any concern to see how they handle it. But this is not always easy because of power differentials. This can be quite intimidating. The best approach might be to take your concerns to a respected Christian outside of your church context to share your concerns and offer you advice on what you can do. This is how people often use my coaching service, conferring with me about next steps rather than simply sharing concerns with other church members.
This is just a sampling of questions that I answer in my book, “Broken Trust.”
Recovering from a church split is a journey through grief and spiritual trauma. Learn how to prioritize relationships over rules and find God’s purpose in the pain of a divided congregation.