Necessary Endings: Day 38
Necessary Endings
.Day 38…saying good-bye to unhealthy traveling companions
Necessary Endings. Our 40-day journey from setback to comeback is nearing the end. I hope you are getting your questions answered. If not, let me know before this train comes to a halt.
Today, as I continue to offer a way to return from exile, I want to talk about a touchy subject: your fellow travelers. It's touchy because the truth is you might get stuck in exile if you are afraid to distance yourself from them. You might need to leave them behind if you want to ever return from exile, or what Henry Cloud called, Necessary Endings, the title of his book.
Some People Don’t Want to Return From Exile
You see, some people like exile. They like the drama. They like being contrarian. They've never fit in. They wouldn't know what to do if life was "normal." So they find reasons to stay in exile.
You think they want to return from exile. They don't. They like to TALK about returning. But they don't want to return. They like to make PROMISES about returning, but they have no intention of doing it.
Meanwhile you wait for them. You hope for them. Your pray for them. You believe in them...until you don't. Until it becomes painfully obvious that they don't want to leave exile. They never did. Deep down they like people feeling sorry for them. They thrive on pity and self-pity.
When this realization hits you, you get a sinking feeling as you think of all the time you've invested in them.
Necessary Endings
So here's the hard part: you may need to walk away from them if you ever want to return from exile. I know you don't want to do that. Exile is hard enough with someone, let alone on your own.
Plus, they often lay a guilt trip on you when you mention returning. So you give them more time.
But seriously, walking away might be the right thing...for you and them. Your sticking with them only enables their self-defeating behavior.
And besides, you won't be alone forever. Eventually you'll find other people headed in the same direction you are...healthy people...humble people... people ready to live the new life they discovered in exile.
I think you know what I'm talking about. You know WHO I'm talking about.
The question is: will you walk away and return from exile or allow them to lead you in circles through the Wilderness forever? It's your choice.
What do you say? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you ever had to do this to find freedom?
This post is based on my book, Return from Exile, a 40 day journey, available on Amazon.com.
Go to the Home Page to discover all my books, blogs, and coaching options to help you be a better person and live a better life. When you subscribe to readingremy.com you will receive the first chapter to my book STUCK and a weekly blog post.
This is reposted and updated from a 2014 series. To find other posts in this 40-day journey, search below with words like, “loss” or the number of the day you are looking for, e.g. “Day 39.”