Reframe Your Identity: Day 36

Reframe Your Identity

Day 36… from setback to comeback

Reframe your identity…. This is Day 36 of our 40-day journey learning how to return from a setback, or “exile.”

A big part of returning from your exile is to change the way you think about your life and what happened to you. Over the past two posts I talked about the importance of reframing your setback and reframing your offender. You also need to reframe your identity. It’s necessary to see yourself in a new light so you can move on and start a new life.

Losing Your Sense of Identity

What often keeps us stuck in exile is that we lose a sense of our identity. The loss we experienced is so disillusioning that we don’t know who we are any more and so we don’t know where to go. How do we get back on track?

When this happens, it’s easy to take on a negative identity. You see yourself as a failure, or a reject, or “good for nothing.” If you own that identity, you will live that out. Your life will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When people take on a negative identity, they often get stuck in blame, self-pity and denial…all things that will keep you circling in exile.

Claiming a New Identity

There’s a better way to identify yourself. You are simply God’s child. You are loved by a caring Father who is committed to bringing you to a better place. The apostle, John, said this in regard to those you trust in Jesus:

…to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— John 1:12

If you insist on clinging to old identities, you will never be able to receive the new life and experiences that God has for you.

Differentiate Yourself

When a person is able to find their identity apart from their relationships, their accomplishments, or their associations (work, hobby, etc.) we call them “differentiated.” They are able to differentiate, or distinguish, themselves from who they know or what they do. This is important so your sense of worth doesn’t rise and fall on outside experiences or situations.

Jesus was differentiated. He found his identity in God alone. He said:

If I give honor to myself, that honor is worth nothing. The One who gives me honor is my Father... John 8:54 NCV

Jesus tells us here that he didn’t look to others for affirmation or identity. His worth came from God…from being God’s child.

In another place, Jesus chided people on this point saying:

How can you believe since you accept praise from one another, but do not seek the praise that comes from the only God? John 5:44

In other words, he’s saying we too often find our worth in what other people have to say about us and not in what God says about us.

Jesus’ words show us that he was differentiated. He didn’t allow himself to be defined by his work or ministry or family status. No one could intimidate him with words because he only listened to what his Father had to say about him. His goal was never to keep people happy. As a result, he was never devastated when people rejected him.

Reframe Your Identity

Take a look in the mirror. Who do you think you are? How have you framed your life? What is the label you hang on that picture? Is it keeping you from returning from exile?

No matter what has happened to you; no matter what you’ve lost, you are God’s child. That is how you ought to frame your identity and that is the title you should place on the frame. Being God’s child is where you derive your worth. Nothing and no one can take that away from you.

These forty days of devotionals are adapted from my book, Return from Exile … available on Amazon.com.

Go to the Home Page to discover all my books, blogs, and coaching options to help you be a better person and live a better life. When you subscribe to readingremy.com you will receive the first chapter to my book STUCK and a weekly blog post.

To read other posts in this 40-day series, search for words like “loss” or the number of the day below, e.g. Day 38.