Can You Be A Good Christian And Not Attend Church?
Can You Be A Good Christian and Not attend church?
…when leaving church can save your faith
can you be a good christian and not attend church?
“...a vital church experience wasn’t necessarily the norm...for heroes of the faith. They were known for their connection to God, not church.”
In my previous post I laid out a plan to find a healthy church. But I ended the article by saying that it’s not always possible to find a healthy church. Then what?
Can you be a good Christian and not attend church?
Let me start by saying that I believe in church. I’ve been a pastor for 30 years. God has used the church in my life to help me to know him and give me an avenue to help others. And I’ve seen hundreds of people impacted by God through the church in powerful ways. So, if at all possible, the best thing a follower of Jesus can do is be fully engaged in a healthy church.
But… healthy churches are not always available and I don’t believe that ANY church is better than NO church. Sometimes NO church is the right move.
Don’t FORSAKE the gathering of believers
Now, I know the push back. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews in the Bible told the church that they shouldn’t forsake the gathering of believers (Hebrews 10:25) But that’s assuming that the church was healthy. I don’t believe he would have said that if the church was toxic, no more than you’d tell someone to get married to a toxic person.
Is marriage a good thing? It can be. But not if it's to an unhealthy person. It’s better to remain single than to be in an abusive or unhealthy marriage. I would never encourage someone to remain in an abusive marriage.
it’s okay to forsake an unhealthy church
I apply that same reasoning to church. My first recommendation is to join a church. But not any church. There are plenty of unhealthy churches. You don’t want that. Trust me. I hear back on a regular basis from people who have been hurt in their church. It’s set them back spiritually.
They're not whiners. They’re not hyper-sensitive or easily offended people. They have authentic reasons for their concern. My recommendation to them is that they should confront what’s wrong if they have any power to make a change in the church or to leave.
Leaving is an easy solution. But then their question is, “What if I can’t find a healthy church?”
what if there is no healthy church?
If you live in a large city, you should be able to find a good church. But traveling the distance across town might not be feasible. Or, I’ve spoken to many people who live in remote areas where there are only a few choices…all bad.
And for some people, even those who live in a large city, they aren’t able to attend a church due to having a traumatic church experience. Church PTSD is a real thing. Walking into any church is full of triggers.
In my book, Broken Trust,I relate how I left a toxic church and was not able to return to church full-time for five years. I tried. I’d go to a new church every few months but it felt wrong. Foreign. All the words seemed like cliches.
I kept talking to God about these experiences. It was so confusing to me. How could this happen? Wasn’t attending church central to my faith?
I finally decided that God wanted me to take a break from church. It seemed counter intuitive to me but I needed to detoxify from my abusive experience. I was eventually able to return to church and fully engage. I even became a pastor. But I needed a season away for healing.
I’ve talked to many people who have had this same experience and they typically feel guilty for not attending church. And it doesn’t help that people judge them for not attending church, which only makes them more guilty and pushes them farther away from church.
Maybe we need to check our definition of church.
how do you define “church”?
Think about it… our modern day idea of church isn’t in the Bible. “Church” in the first century was simply a small gathering of believers, not the institution that it is today.
And so, you can gather with other believers without joining an established institutional church on the corner. Jesus said that wherever two or three people are gathered in his name that he’d be there in their midst. (Matthew 18:20)
The example of faith heroes
Plus, there are many examples in the Bible of people of faith who walked alone with God, with no formal place of worship.
For example: Abraham was known as the father of the faith, but he had no fellowship, no Bible, no temple to worship. (Genesis 12)
The prophet Elijah obviously knew God but he walked with God alone. (1 Kings 19)
David was often on the run, dodging Saul from cave to cave for many years, never near a place of worship. (1 Samuel 24)
The apostle Paul wasn’t immediately engaged in church. In fact, he emphasized how his faith didn’t come from a church leader but from Jesus, himself.
11 I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. 12 I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ…16 …I did not rush out to consult with any human being. 17 I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went into Arabia. Galatians 1:11,12,17
Finally, John the apostle wrote his Revelation alone in exile on the island of Patmos.
My point is that a vital church experience wasn’t necessarily the norm, even for heroes of the faith. They were known for their connection to God, not church.
Remain in Me and I in you
Isn’t that what Jesus called us to…that is, himself? He told his followers to remain in him.
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4,5
So, can a good Christian not attend church? I believe so. It’s not the ideal but not everything in life is ideal. Sometimes we have to adjust our expectations to the reality of our circumstances. God understands our limitations and makes adjustments for them.
What’s most important is that you have a dynamic connection to God through the work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
how can you grow without church?
The next question is: how can a Christian grow in faith as a disciple of Jesus without a formal church experience? That will be my next post. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it.
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