Overcoming a Lack of Purpose
Overcoming a Lack of Purpose
In the last post I quoted from the book, The Upside of Stress to reinforce the steps Jesus took to overcome the darkness of his last week before his crucifixion. I'll add more from that book today as I look at how to overcome a lack of purpose.
How to Overcome a Lack of Purpose
If you want to overcome a lack of purpose, it’s important to have, what Kelly McGongial calls, “bigger than self” goals. A bigger than self goal means that you aren’t living your life just for yourself. It’s much easier to give up on life when your only goal is your personal success, because if you fail… or if someone fails you, then you tell yourself: why bother? Why go on? It’s not worth it.
But a "bigger than self goal" says, No, I’m not just here for myself. I’m here on earth to work with a team of people to help others. If I quit, I won’t make the impact that God put me on this earth to achieve.
Jesus’ Bigger Than Self Goal
There’s a verse in the Bible that shows how Jesus had a "bigger than self goal" that kept him motivated in the face of his suffering. The writer of the book of Hebrews wrote to a group of discouraged Christians. They were suffering persecution and were tempted to give up on God and maybe their lives. So the writer encouraged them saying that Jesus was able to endure the cross…
for the joy set before him … scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
For the joy set before him, Jesus endured the cross. This is the attitude that we are losing in our world today. We are unwilling to endure the pain of life but I think it’s because we don’t see the joy set before us. We can’t see how God can use our pain for good, so we give up.
But Jesus said (my paraphrase), Look, no one likes torture and crucifixion, but when it’s over, I will have reconciled all of humanity to God. It’s worth it. That’s what keeps me going. God will make good out of my pain.That’s what Easter is all about, right? God making good out of our pain. We’ve lost sight of this.
Finding Your Purpose Produces Endurance
With Jesus’ example in mind, if you have a bigger purpose than mere survival, if you are committed to helping your family, or friends, or church, or some ministry… you fill in the blank… if you are working to make a contribution to something or someone beside yourself, you can endure anything with God’s help. Again, quoting the book:
When people are connected to bigger than self goals, they are more hopeful, curious, caring, grateful, inspired, excited. In contrast, people who are self-focused are more confused, anxious, angry, envious, lonely.
Which of these descriptions fits you? If you want to be more hopeful, curious, grateful, inspired, and excited then finding a "bigger than self" goal sounds pretty important.
Be the Support You Want to Experience
The author said that one of the easiest ways to find a bigger than self goal is to view yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience.
For example, she told about two twenty something female roommates. As they got to know each other, they found out that they had something in common: They both lost a parent but never had anyone to process their grief.
So they decided to do something about it. They hosted a supper once a month and invited other young woman who had lost a parent to join them. The idea caught on, and now it’s a national organization and these dinner parties are offered across the United States, all because two young women decided to be the source of support that they wanted themselves. The author concludes:
If there is something that you want to experience, or a community you wished were available to you, how can you be the starting point of creating it for others? People who allow themselves to have a courageous vulnerability— to look first for how to support others, and to use their own suffering as the point of connection— end up receiving more social support themselves.
What she’s suggesting is that, rather than looking for support from others, maybe you need to create the support that you would like, and then offer that by helping others. That way, not only do you get the help you need, but you help others in the process.
Question: What might be a “bigger than self goal” for your life? Take some time to explore this.
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