Forgiving Yourself - Don't Add to the Pain

Forgiving Yourself

…don’t add to the pain

Forgiving yourself is often the hardest thing to do. This is part two in a series of five posts.

We have to start by asking this important question…

Why Don’t People Want to Forgive Themselves?

Sometimes people refuse to forgive themselves as an act of self punishment.  If  God won't punish them then they need to do it! But what they may not realize is that when they refuse to forgive themselves, they only add to the pain.  They take a bad situation and make it worse.

I want to share with you seven reasons why it’s important to forgive yourself. I’ll start with two in this post and then add five more in the next post.

By Not Forgiving Yourself You Become Less of a Person.

One of the effects of not forgiving yourself is that you become less of a person.  What I mean is you weren’t designed to live with guilt.  It weighs on you and eats away at you… always taking away from you. It’s as if you’ve chosen to pay for your wrong on the installment plan: never allowing good things to happen.

But let me ask you this: wasn’t what you did bad enough?  Why do you want to perpetuate that dark history by keeping it alive through regret and self punishment?

It’s like going to a restaurant.  Imagine that I go in and see you eating a meal. Out of kindness I tell the waitress to add your meal to my bill.  But you reject my kindness.  Even though I paid for it, you insist on paying for it again. That’s what happens when you reject God’s forgiveness.  Jesus paid for your sin once, but you feel the need to keep paying for it, over and over again. 

By Not Forgiving Yourself You Add To The Pain

Not only do you add to the pain of your life, you add to the pain of those you love because you aren't allowing yourself to be fully alive to them.  In essence, you cheat them out of the person that you could be for them.  When you punish yourself you punish them too.

Forgiving Yourself Allows Transformation to Begin

But forgiving yourself opens your life up to becoming all that God created you to be. Forgiving yourself turns the page and allows God to do something new with you.

You may never be able to right your wrong, but you can live well and stop the negative effects of guilt in your life.  Forgiving yourself means leaving the past in the past and showing the world the power of God’s transforming love and forgiveness.

I’ve always liked these emphatic words from the book of Hebrews...

By one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Hebrews 10:14

Jesus’ death made you and me perfect forever in God’s sight. Period. End of story.

Two Examples: Peter and Judas

Two people in the Bible show a stark contrast in terms of receiving God's forgiveness: Peter and Judas.  They both failed Jesus by denying him. Judas couldn't forgive himself and committed suicide while Peter went on to lead the church after forgiving himself.

No one thinks of Peter as a failure. We think of him as a great church leader. Forgiving himself (or accepting the forgiveness of Jesus) allowed Peter to live a totally new life.

The same can be said of you.  Leave your past failure by forgiving yourself.  Then move on to become the person God made you to be.

Question: How have you added to the pain of your past?

Learn more about how to forgive in my book, Starting Over…finding God’s forgiveness when you find it hard to forgive yourself.

Subscribe to readingremy.com on the Home Page and you will receive the first chapter to my book, STUCK…how to overcome your anger, forgive, and reclaim your life.

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