I started the other day by looking at what causes a crash and burn (self-destruction). Today I want to continue to briefly look at the steps to recover from a crash and burn.
Steps to Recover
First, Admit. Every change starts by admitting you are in a bad place, a place that you can no longer tolerate. It seems so obvious and easy. But what most people do is go into denial. It’s like wrapping a towel around a wound. It hides the wound but it doesn’t heal it. In fact, that only makes it worse. What happens? The wound gets infected. You might have to amputate. Or worse, you could die if the infection isn’t treated.
Denial is worthless. The thing is, most people know what you are up to. You aren’t fooling them. They may not know the details but they know that something’s not right. Your stock will actually go up with people and not down when you admit your problem and need for change.
You may have just hit a wall and are wondering what to do next. It’s tempting to cover things up and hope your problem gets better on its own. No one WANTS to admit that their finances are bust or their marriage has tanked or they have an addiction. But admitting is the door to putting things right. Walk through it.
Second, apologize to those you’ve hurt. That means you need to express sorrow and ask their forgiveness. This includes God. Apologizing often keeps people from heading in the right direction. It’s too humiliating. But you will need a lot of help. You are going to need a lot of friends. So start apologizing.
Third, make amends. Fix what you broke as much as you can. Your apologies will wear thin if they aren’t backed up with some sincere action
Fourth, seek help. Don’t go this alone. No book or website is going to solve your problems. It’s just pride that keeps you from getting the help you need. You don’t fight cancer on you own. You don’t recover from a crash and burn on your own either. Find a counselor. Find good friends. And if you haven’t done it yet, find God.
And last, expect to make a comeback. Don’t grovel around and play the victim. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and look for pity and sympathy. Don’t vanish from the scene and go AWOL. That doesn’t play well with all the people you hurt. Take responsibility for what you’ve done and believe for the best. Be positive. Read comeback stories. People make comebacks all the time. Imagine a movie being made about your comeback. It can happen!
The Bible is full of stories of people who messed up, were forgiven and made a comeback. So add your name to the list. You need to see yourself as the next great comeback story!
Question: What else would you add to the list about how to recover from a crash and burn? Please add your comment below. Thanks!