In my book Healing the Hurts of Your Past I spend some time defining shame. One phrase that I find helpful is “damaged goods”. The following is taken from my book where I talk about feeling like damaged good.
Defining Damaged Goods
Years ago, a recovering addict told me that shame made her feel like “damaged goods”. I think that is a great phrase. If you walked into any store today you would find a corner, way in the back, which has a pile of damaged goods. These are products that were dropped or chipped or soiled in some way and are not fit for sale. Only perfect items have the value that allows them to be displayed on the shelf. The damaged products are really good for nothing and typically get tossed out at the end of the day or sent back to the factory.
Maybe this is how you feel about your life. Maybe you were divorced, not once but twice or even more. Maybe you were adopted or had an abortion. Maybe you lost a job that you thought you were made for. Or maybe you were sexually abused. Any one of these life events can leave you feeling like damaged goods.
In your mind, you don’t deserve to be placed on the shelf with “normal” people. You are convinced you are damaged and, because of that, you go through life anticipating rejection at every turn. (Taken from Healing the Hurts of Your Past; a guide to overcoming the pain of shame.)
Thankfully God can heal our shame by showing us the inherent value we have as his creation. Since God is infinitely good, everything he creates is also good. That doesn’t mean that everything we do is good, but we can’t let our sin and mistakes define us. When we start to define ourselves by WHOSE we are (God’s child) rather than by WHAT we’ve done, we begin to heal our shame.
You can learn more about healing from shame in Healing the Hurts of Your Past.
- Defining the Pain of Shame (readingremy.com)
- Are You Worthless or Just Flawed? (readingremy.com)