Someone stopped me the other day and said, “I bought your book and I’m getting a lot out of it in regard to parenting”. I had to smile because I get that a lot.
Healing the Hurts of Your Past wasn’t written with parents in mind. But so many of my examples refer to parenting that it’s a natural connection.
I could rework the book using the same information and just target parents. But in the meantime you should know that the book can help you in this department. In fact, it definitely helped me with my parenting.
My Shaming Ways
Fifteen years ago, when I was researching the topic of shame, it dawned on me that I had shame issues. I was passing them on to my children. You’ve probably heard it said that “hurt people hurt.” Well, “shamed people shame” as well.
I sat my teenage kids down and explained what I had learned about myself. I defined shame. I told them what it looked like in our lives and apologized for my shaming ways. I warned them that I’d probably still do it some more… I was a work in progress. But I wanted them to know what it looked like so they would know when to discount what I might say or do.
I’ve come a long way over the years. I have a pretty good “shame detector” in my brain now that keeps me from shaming people, or at least alerts me to when I do it so I can apologize appropriately.
Healing the Hurts of Your Past will help you see what it looks like to shame your children and how to reframe your parenting to be more positive in your approach.
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