I am nearing the one-third mark on our 40-day journey. I can tell by the clicks that many people have picked up the series in the last week but you aren’t starting from the beginning. Go back! I just think it will all make a lot more sense and you’ll get so much more out of it.
Now, there’s something I want you to see about anger and loss that might help you. Whenever you suffer a loss there is a primary loss and a secondary loss.
God’s after something much deeper in us. Whether you see this or not will determine if you ever make it out of exile or not.
For example…do you ever lose your car keys? Of course you do. Well, I do. I hope I’m not the only one. It drives me crazy. I get so mad. I stopped and asked myself why that is. I mean, I know I will find them eventually (usually in my pocket). They are obviously in the house. Why the fuss? What’s the big deal?
I get so mad because of the secondary losses. The secondary losses are those losses that come as a result of losing my car keys. For example: I didn’t just lose the keys. I lost time looking for them. Now I’m late. That leads to more loss.
Because I’m late I lose my calm, relaxed manner. Now I’m on edge. When I finally do find my keys, I drive faster, which might end in a ticket. Now I lose money.
When I finally walk into work late I might lose respect. People say…Remy’s late again…I can never count on him.
Simple analogy, but do you see what I’m saying about secondary losses? It’s not just losing your keys that’s so upsetting. It’s all the other losses that come with the loss of keys, real or imagined. If I had to assign responsibility for my emotion, I’d say that only 20% of my anger has to do with the lost keys and 80% has to do with the losses associated with the keys.
Now, take that and apply it to what I’ve said about the bigger losses in life that lead to exile: loss of a loved one, loss of a ministry, loss of your ministry dream, loss of respect by your congregation or church board (the list is endless). Each of these events, on their own, is painful. But they represent only 20% of the real issue.
The real issues many people never see. They see the “keys.” They don’t see the other 80%. So they spend their time lamenting the keys, blaming the keys, asking God to give them new keys, etc. But the “keys” are not the issue. Helping you regain your “keys” isn’t what God is after. He’s after something much deeper in us. Whether you see this or not will determine if you ever make it out of exile or not.
I’ll take this thought deeper over the next few days. But start thinking about the secondary losses in your life. What are they? (You might want to read an older post called “The Anger Behind the Anger”)
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